


The Trip

by LottieWarwick



Category: Glue (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieWarwick/pseuds/LottieWarwick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James goes to check on the cows and finds something much more worrying. </p>
<p>This is another 'out-take' from Don't Cry For Me, which was removed as it had too many similarities to other chapters. Don't worry: it really is James and Cal this time. I'll update DCFM tomorrow or the next day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trip

James was about to go into the cowshed when a sound attracted his attention: a staccato gasping sound that was not unlike sobs. The sound filled him with fear and he approached the field with trepidation, certain the noise came from outside the cowsheds, yet not knowing what could be causing it. It sounded like an animal but unless he’d left the door of the cowshed unlocked, which he was always very careful not to do, he didn’t know what it could be.

James arrived at the fence and looked over it. What he saw made him feel dizzy for a moment: he gripped the top rail of the fence and waited for the mist to clear from his eyes, hoping all the while that it was a mistake, a hallucination, and the person he’d seen in the field wasn’t really Cal.

But it was. 

Cal was crouching on the ground, holding onto his head and trembling violently as he gasped and wheezed for breath. James climbed over the fence with more haste than was advisable; he jarred his ankle when he landed but ignored the pain, quickly scrambling to his feet again. Once he reached Cal, he dropped to his knees beside him, putting his arm around the shaking figure. James’ instinct told him to hold Cal close but common sense, fortunately, prevailed: Cal needed air. Holding Cal’s face against his shoulder would not help.

James was shaking too, though not as much as Cal, and his voice trembled too, though he tried to speak calmly. “It’s all right, Cal. I’m here now. You’re safe. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“James? What? Where?” said Cal, clutching at James almost painfully.

“Breathe with me, okay, love? In through your nose… out through your mouth.” James gently kissed his cheek; it was moist with perspiration. “In…. out. You can do it, Cal. I know you can. In… out. That’s it. You’re doing really well. In… out.”

It was difficult. Several times, Cal’s breathing slowed and he seemed on the point of breathing normally, only for the gasping to start all over again. A few times, James was overcome with despair and terror but he never gave up.

“Maybe I should phone for an ambulance, Cal,” he said at one point but Cal shook his head violently.

“No… no ambulance… want you.”

James was caught in two minds. He believed Cal needed proper medical care but even the thought of an ambulance had sped up Cal’s breathing again. “Okay. I won’t call anyone now. But if you’re not better soon, I think I’ll have to. I’m worried about you, love. But keep breathing and maybe you’ll be okay in a minute.”

Perhaps the threat of the ambulance helped. Cal’s breathing slowed again. In a couple of minutes, it wasn’t quite back to normal, but he was gradually improving with no sign of a relapse. James’ own trembling calmed and he hid his face in Cal’s dark hair for a moment. Cal wasn’t completely recovered and the experience had clearly upset him but perhaps he would be okay now. 

“What happened?” Cal asked. His eyes were wide and confused and he was still trembling. “I don’t understand. Why are you here?”  
James stroked his hair. “I was just checking on the cowsheds, Cal, and I heard you gasping. You must have taken some sort of drug. But you’re okay now. I expect you came here because you knew that was where I’d be.”

“Why couldn’t I breathe?” Cal held tightly to James’ hand.

James rubbed his back. “I think it was a panic attack, love. Either you panicked because you didn’t know how you got here or the drug caused it. Do you know what you took?”

“Nothing I haven’t taken a million times before.”

If he was attempting to reassure James, he failed. “You won’t always have the same response to the same drug.”

“No.” Cal sat up and wiped his sweaty face. “I know that.”

James kissed him softly. “Come on. Let’s go back to the tractor and I’ll take you home.” He helped Cal to his feet and slowly, they walked to the tractor, James’ arms firmly around Cal. Cal was still shaking but he seemed calmer now. They sat in the tractor and cuddled as James wondered if it would be better for Cal to walk home in the fresh air or be driven in the tractor.

“Fuck,” Cal said suddenly. He jumped off James’ lap and out of the tractor almost in one move. By the time James had gathered his wits, he could already hear the sounds of Cal throwing up. 

James climbed quickly out of the tractor and knelt beside Cal, holding his head as he retched and spluttered and, James hoped, emptied his stomach completely of whatever drug he’d taken. “It’s all right, love. It’s all right.”

Cal gave one last heave, waited a moment to be sure it really was the last one; then he turned and buried his face in James’ chest. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry. It’s not like it’s never happened to me,” said James. 

Cal laughed weakly: he was well aware of the sensitivity of James’ stomach and had looked after him on numerous occasions. 

James stroked Cal’s hair for a moment. “I’ll get you some water.” He gave Cal the bottle of water he’d brought with him and sat with his arm around Cal as he rinsed his mouth and then drank. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Cal couldn’t quite manage a smile but James noted with relief that he wasn’t trembling anymore. 

“Come on, Cal. Let’s walk back,” James said, and Cal didn’t argue. James put his arm around Cal’s shoulders. They were unlikely to meet anyone, after all and even if they did, it wasn’t that unusual to meet a couple of teenagers who were the worse for wear at this hour of the morning.

**  
Cal knew James should be at work on the farm but he barely protested as James helped him into bed and made him some tea. He was still a bit shaken, though nothing would have made him admit it. It wasn’t the first time he’d been sick after taking ketamine and he quite often came to somewhere he didn’t expect to be, which was always confusing. But he’d never before felt the sheer, overwhelming panic that had made him tremble and quake and feel as though he might die.

“Can you remember anything at all about last night?” asked James. He was sitting in bed beside Cal with his arms around him, a little more tightly than usual but Cal was glad of that.

“No,” Cal said truthfully. He knew what he’d been doing because his arse felt sore but he couldn’t remember anything at all. 

James looked worried but he kissed Cal’s cheek and hugged him closer. “How do you feel?”

Cal considered what to reply. He still felt sick and he absolutely hated himself for letting James look after him. He was only in this mess because he was doing something that would hurt James. He didn’t deserve James’ comfort. 

But he couldn’t say any of that to James. “A bit tired. I don’t suppose I got any sleep. But I’m okay now.”

“Are you sure, love?” James brushed his thumb over Cal’s cheek. “You look pale.”

“That’s because I’m tired and the lighting’s awful in here and my hair’s really dark,” said Cal. “I’ll probably look better once I’ve had a sleep.” He didn’t quite have the energy to lift his lips to meet James’ so he stroked his arm instead. “You’d better go, James. Thanks for looking after me, pisliskurjéya. I feel much better now.”

“I’ll stay till you’re asleep,” James said.

Cal shook his head. He knew it might take him a while to get to sleep. The guilt would keep him awake if nothing else did. “No, you’d better go now. I don’t want your mum having a go at you and upsetting you again. Seriously there are times when I could p-” He stopped. Admitting to wanting to punch your boyfriend’s mum, even if you knew you’d never actually do it, was not a good idea. “-put that woman in her place.”

James gave Cal a small but grateful smile. “Seriously, there are times when I really wish you could.”

**Author's Note:**

> Random Romani lesson  
> pisliskurjéya - I used to write this as pisliskurja as that is the word I found online (it means darling). But since then I've started learning Romani and I'm currently learning the vocative case. If you just say 'James is a darling', that's James si pisliskurja. However, if you address someone with the endearment, you use the vocative case. So I've been getting it wrong for 2 months.


End file.
